Hitman

PASSING THOUGHTS
While watching “Hitman”, I was beset with numerous, thought-provoking questions that had me plumbing the remotest recesses of my mind in search of answers. Questions such as these:

If I had an aerial view of four bald guys bouncing to-and-fro and fighting awkwardly in a subway car, would it look more like pinball gone amuck or an abstract game of pool? Is the word “Unrated” merely code for, “This movie has all the nudity of a porno but without the sex”? Have I missed something? Why is Timothy Olyphant acting from the nose down? Is he related to that guy who played Kyle Reese in “The Terminator”? Who did what with the plot? How hard can it be to keep tabs on a guy with a barcode on the back of his head? Have I missed something? Can watching a movie about people getting shot actually be more painful than getting shot myself? How do good men know when to kill?

This last query is addressed at the end of the flick by Mike Whittier who simply says, “It’s a crap shoot.” One word in that anti-climatic answer resonated with my chapped spirit.

“Crap.”

Now, I know that the conversion from videogames to movies has never gone very well; “Super Mario Bros”, “Street Fighter”, “Mortal Kombat”, “Doom”, and “Final Fantasy” have all set a precedent for failure. It’s not easy to take a plot that’s designed around game mechanics and transform it into its own entity…but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. If Hollywood can turn an antiquated, animatronics-based ride into a blockbuster, anything is possible.

That said, this movie would have been perfect as a series of cut-scenes for a Hitman videogame. The visuals and plot were good enough to supplement a game-playing experience, but not to replace it.

One of the biggest problems with the film lies in the main character, a man known simply as Agent 47. First, from a performance perspective, Olyphant doesn’t offer any levels to the character. He goes from placid to dramatic with nothing in between. His movements don’t look like the polished techniques of a professional, but rather the mechanical motions of an actor who is trying to look methodical. His delivery is saddled with the same strain to seem stoic, the result being that he sounds like he’s merely reciting his lines with intense indifference.

Putting the portrayal aside, the character of 47 doesn’t lend itself very well to being the protagonist of a film. He is a bad guy, plain and simple. Just because there are other bad guys trying to kill him does not make him a good guy. He has a crucifix key but no apparent morality; he kills thugs and cops with equal zeal. At the end of the film he says he wants to stop being targeted, which just makes it sound like he can dish it out but he can’t take it. There’s nothing admirable about him; he has no charisma, no personality. A videogame hero doesn’t require any of those things, but a cinematic hero does.

I could appreciate the first portion of the movie in which he was a focused instrument of destruction. Good bad guys can be fun to watch too, as Mel Gibson proved in “Payback”. However, as soon as the woman enters the picture, 47’s focus goes awry. It’s not so much that she starts stirring up his buried humanity (although she does succeed in fostering some lust) as much as she confuses and confounds him. I liked the fact that he put her in the trunk—that was spot on with what the character seemed to be about. But as soon as he bought her breakfast and let her ride shotgun, the whole thing went downhill.

Perhaps a different actor could have made it work, but the character construction itself was just as prohibitive to success. 47 was transformed into a weapon, and the process left him a hollow, efficient killer. That is good enough for an antagonist, but a protagonist needs more. Jason Bourne was a living weapon in the “Bourne” trilogy, but it was his desperate struggle to reclaim his identity that made the character, and the story, work.

BASICS

Your Cup O’ Tea:
If you enjoy unrelenting and wonton violence, or if you’re a fan of the video game who simply wants to see Hitman incarnate.

Steer Clear:
If you are bothered by overacting, gaping plot holes, projectile blood, full nudity, or rampant baldness. The niche for this flick is narrow.

Nothing New Under the Sun:
A vague hint of style and content from “The Matrix”, the girl-caught-in-the-middle element of “Assassins”, the basic plot mechanics of “Shooter”, and the violence and physics of “Desperado”.

Buy or Rent:
RENT. Unless you’re a die-hard fan of the franchise, one viewing is most likely all you’ll need. The bonus features don’t add anything significant to the experience—you’ll get through them in less than ten minutes.

FEATURES

-Scene Selection

-Languages

-Deleted Scenes:
5 total. The first one adds a pool and some bikinis to the initial execution scene; the second shows the thoroughness and tenacity of the Hitman when his target survives an explosion. The third is just a short clip from the movie with one of the lines removed. The fourth offering is a bit more interesting, as it shows an entire scene from the movie shot in a completely different location. The last segment is an alternate ending with incomplete editing. This is probably the most significant contribution to the movie as a whole, since it is cinematic proof that “Hitman” could actually have been worse.

Woulda Been Nice: To actually see those barcodes get some use. Maybe a fight scene in a grocery store in which one of the hitmen’s heads gets shoved over a food-scanner and his number comes up on the register screen.